Merry Yule

Merry Yule

May your days grow brighter

The New Year Approacheth

I'm not a big New Year's Resolution gal, but I do review the previous year and try to do some planning.  As we approach January 1, 2009, I'll be thinking about where I've been, and where I'd like to be by January 1, 2010.  As radical as 2008 has been, 2009 has the potential to test me even more.  I hope I pass those tests.  Skating along is great, but facing challenges, meeting them, even surpassing them, is something I look forward to even though they're intimidating.  I'm not dreading 2009.  I'm hopeful, and I'm gearing up.  

2009 won't just be a big year for me.  We'll have a new President, and the Democrats will be in charge.  Will it be chaos, or choreography, to quote Heather Alexander?  

The woodstove warms the downstairs and the cats lay, molten, in cushioned nooks.  The house is soft and comforting.  It's an illusion, but I do feel sheltered and safe here.  Snow may sift endlessly from towering clouds, I may demand more of myself as a writer, face the possibility of O going out into the world to make it on his own as best he can, dream bigger than ever while downsizing as much as I can, get caught up in storms of political and economic change (hopefully they'll be awesome rather than awful) ... but I'm starting from a place of wellness and comfort.  Thus rested, hopefully I can handle just about anything.

I hope everyone has a great winter, and that the lengthening days will lift your spirits to new heights.  Happy Holidays!

To my beloved far away, blessed be.  We're going to have crazy fun this year.  Are you ready?  I am.

Solstice

Our Solstice preparations have been overshadowed by storms.  I don't know if we're going to thaw out enough to lure company over, but one way or another we'll have our usual vigil.  We stay up all night waiting for the sun to rise after the longest night of the year.  This year the party starts on the morning of December 21st and continues until the morning of December 22nd.  I allow myself naps during daylight, but at sunset I meditate on the last rays of sunlight, and I won't sleep again until the sun crests the horizon in the morning.  

First light can be a rather ambiguous situation if its cloudy, especially if it's snowing.  Luckily we have resources online to tell us, to the minute, when the sun will rise.  I use local flight info in case I can't tell when the sun is up--pilots have to know exactly when first light appears, when the sun actually rises, and all that.  On the shortest day of the year, pilots who aren't permitted to fly at night will be severely curtailed.  I guess they'll have to stay home and drink hot chocolate.

Friends are welcome to come over.  We have both modern and traditional goodies on Yule.

Why Yule instead of Christmas?  I left the Catholic faith a long time ago.  Even as sanitized and de-Christianized as many Americans make it, it's still a Christian holiday.  I both respect my Christian friends, and my decision, too much to celebrate a neutered version of what was in turn a neutered (and then put in funny clothes) version of a pagan holiday.  

Much of what informs my spiritual practices comes from what I've learned about the cycles of day and night, life and death, and the seasons.  Celebrating the solstice fits with that.  We do the whole shebang--open gifts, call friends, and sometimes I even get holiday cards out on time (not this year, though!)  It's the yay, the sunshine is coming back party, rather than the virgin birth thing or the B&E saint thing for us.  Whatever your faith, I hope December 21st is a good day for you, and that you have a peaceful and hopeful night.  Come the first light of December 22nd, the days will get longer and will eventually snowball (ha ha) into spring here in the northern hemisphere on our gorgeous, jewel-like planet surrounded by the stars of our home, the Milky Way Galaxy.  

What I Didn't Do for the Holidays

I didn't send out cards (yet! I still might!) and I didn't run around town delivering presents.  One by one I hope to tick things off my list, if not all then some of them.  This holiday has been one of the most intense since my father passed away on Christmas day in 1990.  Loss and shocking news, warmth and joy, and perfectly timed snow.  It's a lot for one person all at once.

So here's one thing off my list, a tag from Kevin, better late than never.  

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Can't I have both?  If I have to choose, then egg nog, but only if it's the real stuff and has rum in it.  And where's the mulled wine and spiced cider?  They always get left out.  Well, I guess they don't at our house.
2. Does Santa wrap the presents or just sit them under the tree? He wraps them in real cloth with gorgeous ribbon.  That's how you can tell the gifts apart from the kind you get from family and friends.
3. Colored or white lights? White and the smaller the better, because they look like stars.  I like colors but white will always be my favorite, especially the bluish white.
4. Do you hang mistletoe? Usually.  Not every year.  Unfortunately it doesn't grow this far north or I'd send Rory up an oak to gather it.  Sounds mean but he likes that sort of thing.
5. When do you put your decorations up? Changes year to year.  Usually shortly before Yule (December 21) because we bring in a living tree and it can only be in the house so long before it breaks dormancy.  Breaking dormancy during winter is a bad thing, btw.
6. What is your favorite holiday dish? Oh man, you're going to make me choose?  Roast duck.  Prime rib.  My grandmother's potato salad.  Spiral-sliced ham.  Homemade fruit compote (haven't had that in years!)  
7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child? My Uncle Frank (I miss you!) took my sister and I out for a walk in the snow while the family piled the presents they'd hidden around the house under the tree.  When we got back my mom rang a bell and announced Santa had arrived while we were gone.  It was a magical moment, with the quiet, peaceful time followed by the burst of sound and color.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? When I took up the torch and began giving.  I love playing my part.
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Yes.  When I was a child we used to open all our gifts on the eve, and then stockings were for the morning.  These days we usually open a gift on Yule, a gift on Christmas eve and everything else on Christmas morning.  This schedule is the kids' choice--we'd be okay with opening them all on Yule but they want to delay gratification as long as possible.  We've also done the twelve days before but that became too much for us.
10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? With gifted and inherited decorations.  I don't think I've ever bought a decoration for myself, except tinsel.  Some years I did popcorn and cranberry strands but most years I do tinsel or ribbon and the ornaments and lights.
11. Snow: Love it or hate it? I love the snow.  I don't even try to drive in it most of the time, which is a treat.  I like being cooped up in the house on accidental purpose.
12. Can you ice skate? Yes.  I'm not very good but I learned from my father at a young age.  My father played ice hockey and he was very good.
13. Do you remember your favorite gift? As a child, it was my very first 'grown up' stereo.  I love music and that was the best thing for a long time.  As an adult--I'm typing on it right now.  But these things change year to year. 
14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Romance!  Actually, that was just to rib Kevin.  I love doing things with and for the kids and Rory.  It seems like we connect on a much deeper level during the holidays, whether it's holding vigil, keeping the flame, playing board games or running around town finding gifts and keeping secrets so that we can enjoy the moment of surprise when a gift is opened.  I love the sense of peace and calm in the morning, and being all together for more than an hour or two.  I love the break from the routine of work, eat and rest cycles and declaring this is family time, and it's wonderful that just about everyone else agrees and doesn't interfere.
15. What is your favorite holiday dessert? Shortbread, truffles, cream puffs, rum balls, apple pie.
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Vigil and the keeping of the flame.
17. What is on top of your tree? A crimson bird, of course.
18. Which do you like best giving or receiving? I love giving the perfect gift.
19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? The Holly and the Ivy.  I wish the original pagan version was still around.  Some folks have attempted to 'restore' it with mixed success.  I find it interesting that so much of the pagan lyrics survived, especially in the first verse and chorus.
20. Do you like candy canes? I like the small ones.  The big ones are just too much.  And they have to be real mint.  Flavors--yech.  I guess the cinnamon ones are okay.

Cheer

This is the first morning in a long time that I've woken up depressed.  Bad things happen in life pretty often and most days I can flow with that, not take it personally, feel it without being crushed.  I'm not sure what made this morning different.  

We got a call a few days ago that my brother-in-law has cancer.  Test results come back today.  Doug is one of my favorite people, and he makes my sister (in law, full in heart) Kristi so happy.  Please think good thoughts for both of them.

When I first woke up I heard someone nibbling in the dog bowl and for whatever reason I assumed it was Mojo.  I about bolted out of bed, worried that Dakota would take exception and snap at him, but then I remembered.

"Free Falling" came on the radio this morning.  They played that song at Andy's funeral.  I guess it hit me especially hard because we usually see him at Christmastime.  Not long ago we got him a copy of The Richest Man in Babylon.  I don't know where I'm going with this--it's just in my head.

Now that you're all sad for me, I'll be a bad person and wish you all a Merry Christmas.  I hope you had a wonderful Yule.  The longest night of the year has passed.  It only gets lighter and warmer from here.