We have this cat that hangs out around outside.
I refuse to adopt this cat.
This cat is an unaltered male and sprays everywhere. This is extremely helpful to me, as I'm far less likely to let this cat that I absolutely will not adopt into the house. I mean, I'm not even thinking about it, although it would be easy to do, since we're feeding him.
But we're not really feeding him that much. Just a wee bit. He catches rats and mice in the barn, and that's what I'd like him to do--to remain healthy and happy catching rats and mice in the barn, as opposed to hanging around so much on our deck cutely touching noses with the Poop and napping on the deck chairs.
Not that he's cute. Well, okay, maybe he's a little cute. But he sprays! And, I haven't named him, so we're safe.
Actually, he has a name but we did not name him. I was telling my friend R about him (not that I'm interested enough in this cat to actually talk about him to my friends that much--just a couple of mentions here and there) and she said, so you're not naming He Who Shall Not Be Named.
So I blame R that we call him Voldemort and Tom and Tom Riddle--which, I should mention is particularly fitting, him being a tom and all.
But we didn't name him. That was R. Just because he has a name now, it doesn't mean we like him. We don't. We just like what he does. And I don't (usually) talk nice to him or anything, nor do I take any pleasure (well, okay, some) in the fact that I can get closer to him now before he runs off.
But, in the highly unlikely event that I put hands on this cat, he is not coming into the house. Because, yay!, he sprays. And even if we fix him, assuming we can put hands on this cat, it would not stop him from spraying.
So we're never adopting this cat. He'll stay outside, un-named (by us), forever.
I really, really mean it.
Even if it starts to snow really hard and his ears are folded down and he's staring in outside and we have a snuggly fire.
Because he sprays.
Thank gawd he sprays.