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The results of the Measure 8 vote in California is disappointing.  I guess people aren't ready for sexual equality yet, and that's what this is (in part) about.  The anatomy may be the same, but the sexual reality is different.  I wonder if the voters who passed Measure 8 would be as gung ho about a yes if it was paired with losing the right to vote, or losing any of the other rights afforded to American citizens.  It seems so strange to me that people can vote, can fight for the country, can do any ol' darned thing they want but marry.  I'm not sure if the analysis in the article is correct, but it's interesting anyway.  A sad day for human rights, on a great day for the USA.

Meanwhile, my Nano is trucking along nicely.  I'm still fighting this sore throat cruddy thing, but I'm hoping if I sing la la la I don't see you! and sleep a lot and act like I feel perfectly fine, it'll get discouraged and go away.  

Yesterday I used one of my favorite writing novel tricks.  I ended in the middle of a really dynamic, exciting scene.  That way when I sit back down to write again today, I'll read back a bit, get all worked up and emotionally engaged again, and type away like crazy from there.  Whether I do this or not, what I try never to do is stop when I don't know what I'm going to do next.  That can lock a writer into an ugly place.  Do some quick research, brain storm, whine to your friends, poll people in your neighborhood, whatever it takes but get that plot rolling before you quit for the day.  Sometimes sleeping on it helps, but be careful.  If you're well and truly stuck, you can probably give yourself one sleep period (and take a nice, long hot bath or shower) to work it out subconsciously, but don't let that be your standard mode of operation.  The muse should be your inspiration.  You should not be it's slave.  Think about that.  There is a difference.  Also, muses are happier, healthier critters if they're fed a lot.  Watch a movie or read a book that inspires you with its brilliance.  Listen to music that inspires your creativity.  Page through a book of reading prompts, or turn to one of the dog-eared pages in your favorite how-to writing book.  Bubble chart your characters and plot.  But don't give in to writer's block, and don't feed the writer's block by putting off difficult decisions.  Especially don't decide to 'let it mull' or 'put it on a back burner' or 'let it rest' and then do nothing.  If you have to stop, be aware of exactly why and address the issues in an active way until they're all resolved.  Deal with it as if your job depended on it.  Because, in fact, it does.

Surprise! Didn't see that coming!

I get to sleep in tomorrow.  That's going to be such a wonderful luxury.  I try not to but I often stay up late to write and check up on forums and blogs.  When I stay up late and get up early I get lots and lots done, but it costs me a lot.  Today I felt normal most of the day but these last few hours I'm not just exhausted but feeling sore again.  I should know better than to overdo.  Bad Kami, bad, no more getting up early for you for a whole weekend.

Um, what's my motivation for not doing this again?

We had a great INK meeting tonight in which I learned about the flaws in my stories.  Tomorrow I'll fix those flaws as best I can and send them out immediately to the markets I have in mind.  There's one in particular that I was sure I wouldn't have time or energy to finish before the submission deadline and so I relaxed and just let the words flow and didn't write to fit the guidelines per se.  What came out is mysterious in that I'm not sure why or how it works.  Which brings me to one of the ideas I had at the meeting.  I realized why I don't write outlines.  My mental outlines are restrictive enough that I chafe even under those, and when I break away from that predicted path I have these aha moments that I could never plan for, never predict, never craft.  Well, never's a strong word.  But I figure that if they surprise me when they turn up they'll surprise the reader.  If I can plot it out in advance (unless I get into really Byzantine multilayered structure and deliberate twists like some mystery writers do) just about anyone will be able to see it coming.  If it catches me off guard and steals my next heartbeat, I figure I'm onto something good.

I can't of course make a statement like this is my best story ever because only my readers can decide that.  INK liked it, both the stories I had in for critique, actually, so so far so good.  We'll see how this and the other story do when I send them off into the big world to seek their fortunes, and my heart goes with them.

Oops, I pushed my character and he broke

I'm still feeling yucky today.  Hopefully this will lead to long term betterness but for now I'm sore and feeling bloated and low energy.  Up until now I've been getting up early and getting lots of work done.  That's out the window.  

But I'm still writing.  Thank goodness I can do that while in sitting-on-butt mode.  Today is transcribe day.  I'm wondering if the stuff I hand wrote last night will read well on the screen.  Yet another opportunity to edit by looking at the prose from a different angle, though personally I don't care to edit on unfinished novels.  Then (yay!) I can launch into the next chapter.  I ended the last chapter with a bad thing happening and I'm eager to get writing on the consequences.  This will push all the characters to their limits.

There are times when writers push their characters too hard, though, so that they snap and then just curl up in the fetal position and do nothing or thrash around uselessly.  That becomes annoying to a reader fast, especially if they're smarter than the character on the screen.  It turns into a one-sided shouting match.  What do you mean there's nothing you can do?!  I can think of three things off the top of my head and I don't even care if you do any of those, just do something!

That isn't a usual problem, at least not with beginning writers.  They tend to go soft on their precious babies.  But when the challenge is well beyond what the character can handle, it's just as bad for the reader.  Now, this is different from a character being momentarily overwhelmed.  That can be very, very fun.  But eventually (and sooner rather than later) the reader wants the characters to find their feet, regroup, come up with a new strategy, or even just run away, so long as they're active on the page.  And if the characters come back stronger and smarter and overcome the challenge that originally knocked them on their asses, that's sweet.

Lecture (rant) of the day is over.  Use the rest of your classtime for homework or free-time quiet activities.  Thanks for listening!

Thursday

It's gray and cool outside, perfect weather for gardening.  Unfortunately I'm in the dumps.  Lots of complex emotions working through me.  But I've had my morning oatmeal and that makes almost anything better.  Just waiting for it to kick in.  Maybe I'll have some chocolate for a quick pick me up until the more complex carbs start their magic.  Yep, it's called better living through chemicals.  No artificial ones required today.  Mother Nature has more than enough luvin' for me.

Last night I wrote some on a short story.  I'm waiting for the twist to occur to me, but in the meantime I have plenty of normal plot to work through.  I think I might be getting better at the whole short plot thing.  The issue now is how to keep the writing awake and alive.  At novel length I have no problems (or at least I don't think I don't) keeping the world active.  There's so much going on not just in the pov character's life but all around it--political stuff, weather, economic issues, cities and nations teeming with problems, rural life keeping the urban dwellers fed and the disconnect between them, things spiritual, societal attitudes changing and staying the same in a swirly vanilla chocolate cone of cultural existence, on and on.  Things come at the characters from way in the outfield, or sideswipe them.  There's opportunities for random things.  Grandma passes away.  George gets the flu.  There's a storm, or an earthquake, or a heat wave.  

There's not much room for those sorts of things in a short story.  There's not very much room overall in a short story.  So I struggle with richness.  I feel a little impoverished when I write a short story, in addition to feeling inadequate.  But at least when I'm actually writing instead of thinking about writing, all those worries go away.  

Complexity

I fibbed about the wine yesterday.  Not only did I not get around to opening a bottle, but then I calculated my last dose of ibuprofen to land at 11:15 am today and had a glass of wine at 9pm when all but a minute trace of ibuprofen would be out of my system.  Ahhhh, wine and chocolate, Fetzger Shiraz and Dagoba dark chocolate with lavender, to be precise.  Way better than meds, and probably (not sure) healthier for me.

Once I started to suffer from solid pain the depression mostly went away, probably from the body's reaction to pain with the release of a complex cocktail of hormones and other living chemistry.  Sometimes I think about how the body is both very simple--a reactionary organism that is relatively fragile and predictable in relation to the overall environment--and very complex and sturdy with its interplay of checks, balances and compensatory mechanisms that keep us functioning through a huge spectrum of circumstances in ways that we still don't completely understand.  I doubt we ever will completely understand, but complete understanding isn't necessary.  We are what we are, and we live how we live and existence is a patchwork of willpower, fate, environment, timing and a whole slough of factors that we all ride out to our ultimate ends.  

Gee, I got all philosophical there.  Sorry 'bout that.  But, while I'm philosophizing ...

Storytelling attempts to create life experience.

But wait, some say, some stories are just for entertainment.  Well isn't life entertaining?  I know mine is.  And heartbreaking, and beautiful, and ugly, and frustrating, and teaching and wonderful.

 When storytelling is done well the listener connects with the story and becomes engaged enough to experience it in a deep fashion that opens the emotions/heart/being to surprise, wonder, laughter, pain--all the colors of emotion.  Done poorly and the best a listener can hope for is a line that resonates with them enough to get a quick kick of some sort, whether it's a laugh, an aha or whatever.  

A story is by necessity, and due to limitations of medium, simplified.  I think that part of the appeal of VR (remember the SF projections of VR in the late 80's early 90's?) is that we can envision fewer limitations to story, deeper experience.  That deeper experience is achieved by more sensory experience, and more implied history through the creation of characters with independent existences as well as more plot possibilities which, as in the case of Star Trek holodecks, become interactive with listener choice.  

Good writing not only includes lots of sensory detail, unexpected moments, turns of fate and complexity of character, it includes choices that hopefully can draw in a reader into feeling like they themselves are faced with hard choices, and they themselves might choose as the character chose even if it's a bad choice.  Then the story begins to feel real.  

Lately I've read quite a bit of work where I'm not on board with the character choices.  I don't have to like the choices, but I darn well better feel like I might have chosen the same way in the same circumstances.  I think this is the real killer with 'But we have to go back to save Fluffy!' plots.  Done well, they can be entertaining, but now we're not talking a fine Shiraz (good story.)  We're talking pop, something a person drinks because it's sweet, it temporarily kills thirst, is predictable and readily available and is worth little or nothing--a throwaway that readers accept with comments like 'I just wanted to escape for a while.'  It's an Atari video game at best.  No crime in that, no shame.  I played lots of Asteroids and Pong as a kid, and I still love Snood (argh! get thee back, foul addiction!)  But if you're a writer who wants to create a really good, memorable story, you have to look around at real life's complexity.  Develop an awareness of a body's complexity, of life's complexity, and bring your story to life with it.  

Which, btw, makes me think about pat endings.  People say they don't like them, and say things like 'it all wrapped up too neatly.'  But sometimes life happens that way too, at least temporarily.  There are moments in our lives when we 'live happily ever after,' and a writer can capture that and give the audience that sense of closure and peace without the pat ending blahs.  The way a writer pulls that off is with implied continuance beyond The End.  There's more after 'happily ever after' that may not be happy.  It's just that the story reached its natural resting place, a point where we can diverge from traveling with the characters and return to our own lives.  Then it's a very satisfying ending, not just a mechanical knot that contains all the loose ends.

Stuff to think about while living in the clutches of complex body chemistry in a world that surprises me, lulls me, creates me as I create small pieces of it.