The Money Eeeee

I got my paperwork together (the spiders are sad) and drove to my tax preparer's office in the other metro area that's close to my place.  I'm glad I can hug my tax preparer.  It helps to offset the inhumanity of it all.

We were so optimistic, too.  She had a four hour block and I mistook her to mean that she scheduled me for all of it.  We laughed about that, and then I told her I'd take the first hour.  

It ended up taking the whole four hours.  Good thing she didn't make any new appointments behind me.  Mr. and Mrs. Seven O'Clock were ten minutes early, and I'd just stood up to get my hug.

We went over oooooodles of forms.  Last week I picked up a bunch at the library for research, and if I got to it, an estimate.  I didn't get to it, which is just as well.  It would have been a totally worthless estimate.  I needed forms that they didn't have at the library.  I needed forms that my tax preparer, who's been working in the biz for twenty years, has never used.  

She had the patience of a saint.  I had the endurance of a writer accustomed to sitting in front of a computer screen and mucking back and forth over multiple pages until the whole looks just right.  We didn't seal the deal, though.  Although she had happy tags all over the diagnostics, she decided it would be best if the form got a thorough review before she shipped it off.  My form fees at work.  Thank you!!  (If you need tax preparation due to special circumstances, unusual forms, multiple forms of income with weird rules that don't apply to normal businesses or that come from overseas, and so forth, and you happen to live in the Portland/Metro area in the Pac NW, pipe up in comments and I'll give you contact info.)  

If I'd tried to do this myself, it would have taken days, and on top of that, it would have been wrong.  Dead wrong.  Wrong as in I'd have some interesting mail later on letting me know that no, I can't file the stuff that way.  As we worked through various permutations, I variously owed the government lots of money, ended up with a windfall, owed on state and not federal, and had magically disappearing itemizations that popped up again and then re-disappeared.

I learned lots of fascinating (actually, dreary and depressing) facts about tax law.  And I got to surf the internets for a little bit.  Meanwhile, outside a thunderstorm shook the city and hard winds yanked at the door.  Hail bounced on pavement and rapped on cars and windows.

The country code for Bermuda is BD.  We had to know this to complete the form.  Seriously.  Thank you, Google.  Remember the bad ol' days when you'd have to call a tax office or the post office (of course back then you'd get an actual human being) and ask them nicely, so, what does BD stand for?  BTW, my first guess was Barbados.  Wrong!  That's BB.  She guessed British something.  

All complaints are processed through BD, British Damnation.  Include a fireproof SASE.

Meanwhile, I bet my readers are all done with their taxes.  I'd envy you, but I'm too tired, and besides, my cat keeps licking my hand and purring madly so it's hard to feel any sort of negative emotions.  The kitteh has licked most of them off.  

Home stretch now.  And then, finally, we'll be done with the Money Eeeeeee!  Two weeks after that (on average) we'll have an automatic deposit, which we'll stash in case the sky falls.  

Financial Poop

I'm reading "Debt is Slavery" by Michael Mihalik.  It's basic, easy stuff that I know.  The beauty of this book, though, is that it's a short, fast read and it's so repetitive that the data will pierce even the thickest skull.  Yes, even mine.  If you must buy it, buy it used.  It's especially valuable to folks just starting out, though us old farts that ought to know better can benefit from the many reminders.

Inspired by the book and egged on by my frustrations (ah yes, the well pump, plumbing, various appliances including the refrigerator, and now most recently a dead tv (we're going to live without a poopyheaded tv too!  That'll show 'em!) I sat down and played with our financial picture.  Which is great, poopyheadedness aside.  It's just not the fabulous, freeing excellence it ought to be.  I plan on whipping it into proper shape in short order.

It's also time to get ready for taxes.  As always we have all kinds of bits of paper and stray decimal points that have to be herded in the direction of our fabulous accountant.  Start getting ready early and often is my motto when it comes to taxes.  Unfortunately, mottos have a way of getting stuck to the back of my head where I can't see them very well.

With figures dancing in my head like sugar plum fairies dressed in green (have I been drinking absinthe without realizing it?) I'm finally ready to admit that I'm too fuzzy-headed to continue.  Time for bed.  I hope everyone has a brilliant and secure financial 2009!

Give it away

I know times are tough, especially for folks who are living paycheck to paycheck.  Gas prices, food prices, air-we-breathe prices are rising and the salary isn't keeping up, if you're so lucky as to have a salary.

But it's harder to get by for the folks who provide valuable services for us too.  It's harder for charities, harder for artists, harder for contractors and yes, it's harder for people running websites like Ralan.com.  So quit yer whining about how tough things are--it's tough all around--and donate even if it's a tiny bit to the people who do stuff that's important to you when there's something like a fund drive, or if it's a free monthly online magazine like Flash Fiction Online.  It's free to you, but not to them.  

If you're not a reader or a writer but you love animals and care about their welfare, think about donating to a shelter.  Pet food and supplies prices (as those of us with animals know) are going up too, which makes it that much harder for local humane societies and no-kill shelters.  

Or pick whatever websites or 'free' services you use or causes you care about.  Don't feel guilty, please.  Don't feel pressured.  Just look around and see if you have a dollar.  Skip the latte or the bag of potato chips or decide to drink water instead of pop for a couple of days.  When money is tight, it's the financially wise thing to do.  

At this point you're thinking huh?  But seriously.  When your budget sucks and you're tearing your hair out, chances you're looking at how much money is flowing out of your hands.  When  you start looking at who else is struggling, a mental shift begins to occur.  You start thinking about how much you have, how lucky you are compared to, say, folks living in Galveston.  And when you start to look for money to help, good grief, there it is!  You're overdrawn, you have credit card debt but there's a friggin' dollar in your car, or there's stuff in your garage that you haven't looked at in years that you could sell at a garage sale--advertise 25% of proceeds will go to charity X.  You may think hey, I'll give up pre-processed, pre-packaged food three days a week, ease up on my grocery bills that way, and in celebration of this decision I'll donate two bucks to the rotary club so that they can send books to Cambodia.

This is why just about every financial advice book I've read strongly suggests giving to charities even when times are tough, be it someone with lots of fame and hype like Suze Orman, or my very own accountant (I love you LaVerne!)  That mindset shift is critical in order to reduce unnecessary expenses without feeling impoverished.  If you feel like you're denying yourself and spiraling under, just like a diet you'll eventually rebound and binge.  If you feel like you have money to give away (or you don't have to starve yourself) you're more likely to meet your financial goals.

If it's a non-profit charitable organization you can take it off your taxes (bonus!) or, as in my case, if it's part of the cost of doing business you can probably take it off as a business expense (check with tax law before making this assumption.)  Even if it doesn't, it'll do you good.  So think on it, choose wisely (please don't buy a pink ribbon for breast cancer awareness--donate directly to the charity) and scrape up some change.  Today!

Let me entertain you!

So, our pump went out this morning.  We knew this was coming.  It was making lots of noise, letting  us know that it was a very, very unhappy pump and wanted a hug.  The timing of it, though--oh so good, and yet oh so bad.  I mean, it's like there's a mini-fate that keeps an eye on us.  She never throws us anything we can't afford, but makes it expensive enough that our financial plans are shot.  Remember the hardwood floor in September?  Poof.  

Well, maybe not.  But it's looking unlikely.  This isn't an ordinary pump.  Nope, this is a 3/4 horsepower well pump sitting at the bottom of somewhere around 200' of pipe, and it all has to come out.  Yep, all of it.  Pipe, wiring, plumbing and pump are all coming out of the ground tomorrow.  It's a half day job ($$) with a bunch of guys ($$$$) and some heavy lifting equipment to pull the pipe straight out ($$$) plus the new pipe, pump, and any plumbing that has to be replaced ($).  So the money I'd planned on spending on hardwood floors downstairs ($$$$) will go toward paying off the credit card.

What, you say?!  Credit card?!!

We can afford it ... in two weeks.  Not tomorrow.  Two weeks.  And they're coming tomorrow because I want to flush my toilets, thank you!

Mini fate, I love you.  Kiss kiss, sweetheart, darling.  Thank you for not throwing us more than we can handle.

Sigh.

So this week's entertainment will be the plumbing circus.  I thought, whatever, let's call the appliance guy and just repair the drier if possible while we're at it.  Because the new drier ($$$) I wanted?  No point if there's no water getting to the washing machine.  

I'm not disheartened, I'm really not.  I'm grateful that this isn't going to punt us into bankruptcy or put us into debt for the next X number of years.  It's just another thing to keep me busy.

This weekend.  This weekend we'll settle back and relax.  Really.  It could happen!

The End of a Shopping Era

Yesterday I had the oddball experience of shopping for everything (within reason) that we might want in the short term (this summer) from the store.  Aqua socks.  Bug spray.  Socks and underwear.  Shorts, capris and shirts.  Non-perishable(ish) food items.  First aid stuff.  Storage bins for putting away winter clothes (at last! and I'm still wearing long sleeves because it's cloudy and distinctly not warm this morning.)  Summer toys.  Hair scrunchies and pins.  Soap of various kinds (including two Kiss My Face shower gels and three of my favorite Palmolive dish soaps.)  Two carts got packed into four storage bins of loot.  We then turned in our employee and spouse discount cards.  From now on we're just regular ol' customers, but at least we're armed with the secret knowledge of cost and can find the best deals on stuff.  Even without the discount, most of the stuff at my old store is still the best deal around, Walmart included.

When I got home, surprise!  Incredibly gorgeous roses, a full dozen of a variety called Papaya, and a teeny tiny miniature rose with quarter-sized flowers for the rock garden.  A chocolate cake declared:  Happy Quitting Day!

I love my family.

This morning I'm filled with enthusiasm and relief.  We have a full day of getting medical, dental and financial stuff done and I can just do it without thinking about how I won't have writing time and the house is a wreck and I won't get anything accomplished before it's time for me to return to work again.  That's been the killer:  on my days off I try to catch up on critical household stuff I've fallen behind on, and never get even half done before I go back to work.  I often had three days in a row which got me just within sight of my goals with maybe a few hours to spare for writing and art before I returned to work.  If I had one day off, zero writing and art would happen because I had to devote all my time to laundry, dishes, and if I was lucky, some weeding or some such outside.

The mile-high sea of grass that's been mocking me is now shivering in fear.  Yes, your days are numbered, as are the days of the endless weeds and the patches of surviving blackberries in the developed areas.  

There's lots to keep me busy, not just for the summer, but for a lifetime.  I'm glad to get back to it.  Retail was a fun ride, as always, but it's time to get back to my real work.  

Debt Races and Strawberries

Still waiting for all the various checks and accounts to clear and adjust.  I wonder if in the future we'll have the capability to track things better.  Then you can have horse races with various institutions.

"And they're off!  IIV has the lead, but they're slow coming around the bend as an employee is sick, creating a backlog  of  unconfirmed funds.  Golden Express is edging up--oh!  Due South leaps to the finish line, bypassing the home stretch!  Risky move.  They must have a helluva claims department."

I'm not surprised we've seen no movement in the snail mailed stuff, but I'm hoping it will happen sooner rather than later so that I can pay off any extra balances that will inevitably be there thanks to fees, late purchases and so forth.  It would have been nice to have checks cut for the exact amount.  We did, in a way, ask for checks to be cut for the exact amounts but we knew that information would be weeks outdated when it came time to close.  And so it was.  I was surprised to see that Radcon stuff appeared after that last balance check.  It's nothing we can't handle in one payment, though.

One payment!! Woot!

Meanwhile, in the rock garden, I'm contemplating the strawberries.  I'm pretty well settled on yanking them all out, and yet, they're strawberries.  I mean, who doesn't love them?  They're sort of messy, but they're a fun ground cover, but sloppy and invasive and uneven and this is a really tall variety ... but they're strawberries.  I mean, c'mon.  Strawberries.

One lone daffodil stands fully opened while its sleepy neighbors snuggle inside their protective sepals and murmur "five more minutes, mom."  The small pink flower on the mid-left is an anemone.  The anemones in that bed are mostly pink although we have a few other colors.  Here you can see how big the chionodoxa are by comparison to the daffodil.  By the way, that one pink anemone is the first one to pop up every year, often weeks in advance of all its sisters, brothers and cousins.  Weird.

The Burden

Today we hit a financial milestone.  We've done some major financial shuffling before, but nothing on this scale.  We refinanced and folded some big debts into our mortgage.  It increased our mortgage payment  but removed over three times that a month in credit card and loan payments, not including what extra money I've been dumping in to try to whittle our credit cards down.  We've been down to zero credit card debt before, and it came back with a vengeance.  The challenge now is to make sure that it doesn't return.  

The cards will not be in my wallet anymore, for one thing.  I've used them successfully in the past.  For years I successfully paid credit card bills in full every month.  I used them predominantly for purchases at businesses where checks weren't accepted.  Now that I have a debit card, though, credit cards aren't as important.  I'll still use them for business and travel, but other than that, they can nicely collect dust in the safety deposit box with our passports and other seldom-used, important documents.  There's a possibility we won't use them at all, even when traveling, at which point we'll probably just cut them up.  It all depends on how things will look in the checking account without the constant drain on the disposable part of our income.  It may be possible for us to do the big stuff without having to reach for credit.

I was definitely giddy woman today.  After working with a thin and sometimes deficit budget for household expenses, I'm looking at the possibility of depositing spare $$ from my checking account into a savings account where those $$ can accumulate interest.

I know, blah blah blah money blah blah blah.  But when you've carried the burden for years, the relief is unbelievable.  The whole household was affected, but as the financial drudge I got to face it twice a month, every month.  I'd watch it slowly shrink and then something would inevitably happen and it would hop back up with gymnastic effortlessness.  I couldn't even have the comfort of buyer's remorse.  I knew I couldn't promise myself that I wouldn't overspend again.  The cars and truck had to keep running.  Animals needed their veterinary care.  Kids needed clothes and school supplies.  When we were able to save and plan then we did fun things like buy cameras and computers with cash.  When our savings was hammered and September came around, buying jeans and sweaters with cash was a pipe dream.  We paid for Mojo's adoption with cash.  I paid for his extensive medical care on credit cards.  I paid for my Nova with cash.  I paid for all it's repairs with credit cards.  And so on.

And so it goes.  But now we have a cushion in addition to the lack of credit card debt (I love you refinance genie!)  As that cushion builds, the less likely it is that we'll need to resort to credit cards to pay for large, unexpected or expected but unmanageable expenses.  

This is the way things ought to be.  I know this.  The Richest Man in Babylon and Suze Orman have taught me how things ought to be.  At times I lived very responsibly, but when kids came into the picture I lost my way.  I could make excuses, but really, I stopped looking at finances as closely as I did as an independent woman.  I got out of the habit.  I lost control.  I've had chances to get that control back and I failed.  Hopefully I've learned a lot through my failures and this time I hope for success.  To be fair to myself, before I had a family I had only my own crud to juggle and that was pretty darned easy.  It's a different game with a family.  Although the same rules apply, it's much more complicated.

So here's a toast to those who have gone before me on the road to a credit card debt-free life, and those who shall follow.  Live and learn, learn and live with one less burden.