Monday, August 10, 2009

Food for Thought

I don't want to eat.  

I don't want to sound like a whiny baby, but I try to be honest on my blog and this is honest.  I was in a car accident yesterday.  I bumped my head.  I'm fine, and my doc and the EMTs checked me out--my health is okay except a little bruise and low blood pressure that's making me light-headed, medical is all taken care of, insurance guys are on the case with the car.  But the red car is totaled.  And it was a newish car, so we still owe a lot on it and its gone just like that.  

I had my cry.  All done with that.  But now comes the staring part, the unsure what to do part, and nothing in the fridge or freezer looks good.  I feel like I've been on the phone for days.  Weird things make me smile.  The idea of a purple PT Cruiser with paisley decals parked in the driveway and my DH's "you didn't" expression, and then me saying just kidding--waving a wand and it vanishes like smoke.  Walking on the shore of the Columbia River, playing with the dogs, the whole family together, sandy toes, artful smears of river mud on our faces.  Watching swallows from the deck (I actually did that for a while today--there's a couple dozen out there right now.)  Imagining the red car is fine, still in the driveway, and that I can just drive it down into town and pick up a prescription if I want.  A magic cloud with a voice like a violin drifting down and with three words making the repairs on the car of death (called that because a mouse died in the ventilation system and stank there forever) a tenth of the quote I got today.  Thinking about fixing up the No-Go and driving it again.  Starting a new job.  Being at the writer's class on the coast.  Picking up my DH at the airport and everything is done, all good, nothing to see here citizen.

I'm going to make myself eat something.  I don't know what.  Something with protein.  I'm just so tired.  Beaten.  Some things aren't covered by insurance.  We'll be paying for a car that doesn't exist.  I can't fix this.  I just have to do the best I can.  I have all kinds of plans.  Maybe tomorrow I can make some of them into reality, but for now, I think I should have some fish and veggies and drink lots of water and maybe write about someone who has way worse problems than me, and a lot more resilience. 

10 comments:

Molly said...

So sorry about your car - does that mean you are carless? or just car challenged?

I'm with you on the purple PT cruiser. Maybe my Darling brother won't notice it in the driveway? He'll be so thrilled to be home and have you in one piece, he gets caught up in your delusions, you wave the wand and he sees a little $400 clunker?

Food is a good start. And you may be able to write about someone with worse problems, but hard put to create someone with more resilience than you.

I hope you feel better, and wishing you luck finding the perfect replacement at the right price.

Anonymous said...

Good to read that you're ok. The insurance won't cover a lot of it and they'll raise your rates of course!

JimBob

Carissa said...

I'm glad you weren't hurt! That's sad news about the car. Have you thought about trying to turn the 'No Go' over for Cash for Clunkers? Not sure another car payment is what you need right now, of course, but thought I'd mention it.

I hope you can shake off the heebies. Take care of yourself.

Kami said...

Thanks for the well wishes everyone!

Turning the No Go into Cash for Clunkers is high on my list. It's not running right now, and it's my understanding that it has to be running to qualify. I'm going to ask my favorite dealership about this before I do a darned thing. The reverse side of that is that if we go for a Cash for Clunkers, it would mean a new car. With new payments. But, our payments may be lower than on the red car and get paid off sooner, depending on what we get, so we may still end up okay. When you figure in what it'll cost to pay off the red car loan, things look less rosy, but I like the banks I work with and they may be able to wave their own magic wand and make this better.

I just got off the phone and found out the cost of repairing the Car of Death will be double of what I expected based on their rough estimate yesterday. I have to process this. *head desk*

Kai Jones said...

Oh, this is awful. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with it.

Kami said...

Thanks again for the sympathies. It could have been much worse.

The bad news is that the Nova doesn't qualify. When it stopped running we took it off the insurance until it could get fixed. To qualify it has to have been insured within the last year. Plus, it gets too good of gas mileage. The good news is that I like that little car. I'll probably fix it up and turn it back into the Pikachu mobile.

So there's good to be found.

killshot80 said...

Hi Kami,

Sorry about your loss. At least you're in good company--the best of us have totaled cars. Jill totaled hers just this year, and I have totaled at least 3 (2 were technically my fault).

Joe.

Kami said...

I was on the phone with C.S. about just that thing--I guess everyone has to total a car at least once. I was not aware of this rule! I guess I got off cheap, since I still don't feel like anything is wrong with my neck, the pain in my head is still there but barely noticeable, I have all my limbs ...

It's been a long while since I've been in an accident. I guess it was just time. Poopyheaded statistics ...

The good news is that we 'only' owe a little over a thousand on the red car. I had to sit down after I heard that. It still smarts, but that's nothing like the doom and gloom numbers I had in my head when I first heard the car was totaled. I just had no idea what that meant and how it worked--now I get it. Sort of. I'm liking my insurance company right now. I think they're giving me a fair price on the car (though naturally I wished it was just a bit more so that the remaining loan would be paid off.)

Lea said...

I'm very glad you weren't hurt more badly, Kami. I too have totaled a car, although I managed to not be in the car at the time the semi squished it. ;) Be well, hon.

Kami said...

Hi Lea! I think I'll try totaling my car your way next time. It makes much more sense.