Monday, January 11, 2010

Rejections Attract Dreaded Bird

Apparently a lot of editors take home their slush piles for reading material over the holidays. Heck, that's what I'd do if I were an editor. Sitting by a fire with some hot chocolate and a pile of potentially wonderful stories sounds much nicer than sorting through that plus all the other business during a normal work week.

Anyway, the holiday reading period led to a whole bunch of rejections washing up on my writerly beach.

As we all know, a pile of rejections is more fragrant than a lone rejection, increasing the chances that a dreaded Usuck doomsayerii will notice them. This obnoxious bird tends to park itself near a writer's desk and sings its distinctive, cheerful song with full-throated glee. It positions itself so that droppings end up on fresh manuscripts and its singing often drives off fresh writing. Its song also encourages critical writing and over-editing, which often helps increase its supply of rejection slips.

An acceptance doesn't chase off the Usuck doomsayerii. Persistently ignoring it and quickly filing away those rejections is the surest way for writers to rid themselves of this bird. Sending manuscripts back out promptly also helps, as this bird often uses languishing manuscripts for survival food when rejection slips are scarce or unavailable. Deny it fodder and attention, and hopefully the bird will fly away to pester some other hapless writer.

Stories out: 17
Novels out: 0

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